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Post by Straw Hat Boy on Jun 28, 2018 3:56:40 GMT -5
Reminder - I can neither approve or deny it. I can merely review it. With that said, someone who is fully qualified to approve your application would check it shortly.
Category: According to what you have written here, it seems sharp to me. The use of hair and nails generally is generally sharp. However, I'll leave it up to you to figure it out. It can be blunt, but this way, your nails and hair would not do sharp damage.
Expert Style: I'd like you to name the weaknesses of decreasing and increasing his body mass. I.e, lower weight would mean less strength. Larger weight means additional strength. Also, what are these Shoka and Kyushu moves? Add the description of them, please.
Master Style: It seems okay to me, however, I'd like a final range of his hair and nails extensions. I'm still quite hesitant about the B-cells production, though. However, I'll leave it for the next moderator to decide.
-Mugen
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Post by Straw Hat Boy on Jun 28, 2018 11:39:41 GMT -5
Apologies, I have neglected to mention that you should mention that his speed would be largely decreased if he enhances his body mass. Looking over your application again, I must say that it still requires a few changes.
Firstly, I feel as if the range should not be more than 25 meters in Master rank. Extending the hair to 25 meters is honestly something that is considered legendary. As your style bonus isn't range increase, it's speed increase. Also, decrease the range of the nails to 1 meter, please. Anything more than that would feel unrealistic for a Junior.
Secondly, it's important to note that every power you mention in your style descriptions should be named as a move. Every ability that Haoquin has access to should be treated as a move. So please add that.
Thirdly, please remove the complete control over his immune system and change it to "partial control over his immune system - he is able to make himself resistant to the common and basic toxins and viruses". And this ability should be mentioned as a move. It means that in order to make himself immune to these toxins and viruses, he must perform a move. There's a limit to how much Life Return could grow. Even at Master level, this should be noted that this level of potency is overpowered.
Fourthly, same note as before - the abilities should be treated as moves. And I'm still quite hesitant about the complete control over all toxins. Let's do this - in order to battle an incredibly potent toxin, he could perform this ability (which is a move) only a limited number of times in a battle. In other words, this move should cost a lot of stamina. Even for a Master ranked character.
Also, it should be noted that the body healing would definitely have a limit (and would be considered a move, of course). It would take a long time to heal a broken bone. Faster than others, yeah, but it's still going to need a cooldown. At least 12 posts completely, and 6 posts partially. And it should be brought up that the partial healing would still not make him immune to damage.
-Mugen
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94 posts
Hihyō Hihyō no Mi
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Post by Zadi on Jun 28, 2018 15:09:44 GMT -5
For the time being, disregard the latest post by Straw Hat Boy. That's too complicated in my opinion. Simply put - focus what you can do with Life Return just like any other Style. Hair and finger nails are are fine, but know that you don't magically create hair and nails; in order to "create" hair and nails, your character's body will need to sacrifice more than just stamina. HP is an interesting way to go; a versatile Style which can only be used to it's fullest potential (instant hair/nail growth) when sacrificing the well being of the Style user. Canon has an example of this; onepiece.wikia.com/wiki/KumadoriSo in short; focus what you can do with Life Return and HOW you do it. |
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94 posts
Hihyō Hihyō no Mi
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Post by Zadi on Jun 28, 2018 17:33:47 GMT -5
Alright, so you didn't "focus"; either you didn't understand what I meant or you are trying to hold onto as much as possible. So, I'll be more specific then;
Style Name - we won't allow FULL Life Return because of how vague and broad it is. We will only allow partial use of Life Return for specific uses. Therefore, change the name of your Style.
Category - This is fine.
Theme - Your theme can't be Life Return. Life Return is HOW you achieve hair/nail control/growth. Therefore your theme should be "hair and nails". However, if I'm going to be 100% honest - I want you to choose between Hair or Nails, not both. They each have unique strengths and weaknesses so they are better within separate Styles.
Element - This is fine.
Bonus - This is fine.
Rookie - At this level, you cannot control/grow your hair/nails (basic stuff only; whipping your hair or clawing your opponent using regular nails, etc). And just to be clear once again - choose between hair or nails.
Junior - This time you choose between the ability to grow or to control. This is just Junior rank after all, so only minor feats. Remember, whatever you picked for your theme is what you control or grow; hair or nails. Growth still requires HP sacrifice (don't put details such as meters or HP stats; that's for moves to work out)
Journeyman - Full Life Return is not allowed; your theme is either hair or nails, so only talk about hair or nail growth/control. You can now do both growth and control, btw. For Growth, you still use HP, but you can now retract your hair/nails and return HP, but only as much as you put into Growth (don't put details such as meters or specific HP stats; that's for moves to work out).
Expert - Same as Journeyman; Hair or Nails.
Master - Same as Journeyman/Expert; Hair or Nails.
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Post by Haoquin Yaegar on Jun 28, 2018 18:16:23 GMT -5
Never mind scrap this then.
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