Supin Supin no mi

5 posts

Supin Supin no mi Jul 30, 2018 15:30:28 GMT -5

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Post by jimmyjohn on Jul 30, 2018 15:30:28 GMT -5

Name: Supin Supin no mi
Type: Paramecia
Subtype: Manipulation
DESCRIPTION

Base Power: The supin supin no mi turns the user into a spin human which allows the user to spin small items on there axis at extreme speeds the user can control the force as the spin aswell. The Longer The user touchs the Object the Longer And stronger the spin

Rookie Devil Fruit: The users spins at rookie rank damage and can be shot off without any help for 25 meters. The User has little control over the direction it can only go straight.

Junior Devil Fruit: The spin is at junior damage. Range:50 meters. The User Understands The Spins motions better and can curve the shot after firing but it can only fire off straight.

Journeyman Devil Fruit: The users spin can easily break down Rocks and steel. Journeyman damage spins. Range:75 meters. The users Spin can Shoot In any Direction on touch.

Expert Devil Fruit: The users spin can now bypass a guard but halves its range. Range 100 meters. Exper range damage. The Users Spin now creates a sort of wind around it powering and allowing it to stay stationary without losing any spin.

Master Devil Fruit: The users range is 125 and the spin cannot be stopped. The spin can Destroy Boats in one shot if aimed correctly.

Weaknesses: The user cannot spin seastone or water any spinning object that hits water will stop spinning. Standard Devil Fruit weakness.

LAST EDIT Aug 2, 2018 20:01:14 GMT -5 by jimmyjohn

Hina

49 posts

Supin Supin no mi Aug 2, 2018 14:43:58 GMT -5

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Post by Hina on Aug 2, 2018 14:43:58 GMT -5

The base power needs narrowing. There already is a canonical spinning Fruit (Guru Guru no Mi; Buffalo uses it). It's more of an augmentation subtype as it seemingly only allowed the User to spin their own body or parts of it. So you stand at the crossroads of either taking and maybe slightly personalizing that fruit and ability or separating this one from it a little by letting it spin only objects and not the user himself, as your ability is manipulation and a fruit typically does not do multiple subtypes.
Depending on your choice, Ranks need a retouching as well, then. For that, keep in mind, that Range works in steps of 25 meters. So per rank, you can either add 25 meters to your maximum Range or an additional Turn of Duration that abilities can last without paying upkeep.
Being able to control the direction of the object probably shouldn't work like you describe, either. Objects the power is used on gain a spinning force, not fall under your control. Releasing them in a way so that they propel in an arc, sharp or wide, would be one thing, but spontaneously changing the direction quite another.

That's the fundamental things we need decided on first, i'll be available via the #grading-talk channel on discord for and questions so that you can get the groundwork for this fruit laid out.

LAST EDIT Aug 2, 2018 14:44:19 GMT -5 by Hina

Hina

49 posts

Supin Supin no mi Aug 3, 2018 2:09:11 GMT -5

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Post by Hina on Aug 3, 2018 2:09:11 GMT -5

You have a contradiction. The description says strength and duration depends on how long the user has touched an object to be spun. But then it scales by Rank. Again, you need to pick one or the other and focus on it. It's probably easiest to get rid of the statement and just let it scale with Ranks as intended.

Additionally, you didn't really fix the whole "control after releasing" thing. In the case of spun objects rolling on their side like a wheel, they can't just change direction. They could, however, be positioned/spun/released in such a way that they automatically co in circles or do wide arcs etc (like a ball that's hit off-center). If they're meant to be standing on the axis and be spinning like a top, the same applies by having the object be tilted when released.

Bypassing Guard doesn't seem to have any real reason for being in there, so that's gotta go. If that's something you want to do, it could be a specific move, more likely. Same with the wind, which i don't even understand what that is supposed to be.
Finally, damage on last Rank should be described in proper terms i.E. Master Rank Damage, as every other rank is and that is too vague a description.

jimmyjohn 5 posts	Supin Supin no mi Aug 4, 2018 19:41:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jimmyjohn on Aug 4, 2018 19:41:55 GMT -5 Im gonna scrap this idea for now until I get a better understanding of the site

Post by jimmyjohn on Jul 30, 2018 15:30:28 GMT -5

Post by Hina on Aug 2, 2018 14:43:58 GMT -5

Post by Hina on Aug 3, 2018 2:09:11 GMT -5

Post by jimmyjohn on Aug 4, 2018 19:41:55 GMT -5

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